


GoM & Co™

by queerbaitings



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Established MuraHimu, M/M, Multi, Oblivious Kagami Taiga, Oblivious Kise Ryouta, Slow Burn AkaKise, chat fic, i guess, in this house we hate hanamiya makoto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-04-21 23:14:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14295570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerbaitings/pseuds/queerbaitings
Summary: Kuroko:He's just. So dumb.Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):like Dai-chan!ahomine:hey! that was uncalled for!ryouta:no, no. you and Kagamicchi are actually pretty similar in this regard!ahomine:haa?!





	1. y'all dumb as fuck

**Author's Note:**

> this is just an excuse for me to put all my kurobas ships into one fic while not having a deep plot. nice.
> 
> [ this starts as a GoM gc but tatsuya's there from the beginning bc he and murasakibara are already dating ]

9:23am - _GoM & Co™_

 **Kuroko:** Kagami-kun has yet to notice my advances towards him.

 **Kuroko:** I fear that he is much more oblivious than he seems.

 **ryouta:** eh?!

 **ryouta:** how oblivious can one guy be??

 **Kuroko:** You are a prime example of it, Kise-kun.

 **ryouta:** please don't roast me before 10am

 **Kuroko:** If I had said the same thing  _after_ 10am, you would have said not to roast you after 10am

 **ryouta:** facts

 **Tatsuya:** if I may butt in, Taiga has been fairly oblivious the entire time I've known him.

 **Tatsuya:** and just the other day, he called me at 3am just to make sure we weren't still having our "rivalry".

 **ahomine:** lol what an idiot

 **Kuroko:** He's just. So dumb.

 **Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** like Dai-chan!

 **ahomine:** hey! that was uncalled for!

 **ryouta:** no, no. you and Kagamicchi are actually pretty similar in this regard!

 **ahomine:** haa?!

 **Akashi:** If Aomine and Kagami are similar in this way, wouldn't you be as well, Kise?

 **Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** :o true!

 **ryouta:** akashicchi..?

 **ryouta:**  ...I don't really believe so!

 **Kuroko:** He's as bad as Kagami-kun...

 **ryouta:** what do you mean? (・_・ヾ

 **Tatsuya:** aha, this is painful to watch!

 **Akashi:**...

 **Tatsuya:**  (*´･o･)

 **ahomine:** gross

 **Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** Dai-chan! Murasakibara-kun will get angry

 **Tatsuya:** Atsushi is currently sleeping, insult me as much as you like.

 **Tatsuya:** however, if you do, I will add Taiga to this chat and we all know you're only stronger than him at basketball!

 **ryouta:** AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

 **ryouta:** can I get front-row tickets to this?

 **ahomine:** i'd like to see him try

 **ryouta:** "the only one that can beat me is me"...

 **Tatsuya:** if that's how you want to play it...

9:56am -  **Kagami** joined the server _,_ invited by  **Tatsuya**

 **ahomine:** i just remembered i have to be literally anywhere else aha guess i don't have time to chat!!

9:57am -  **ahomine** went offline

 **Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** someone remind me why Sakurai-kun is in love with him

 **Kuroko:** I was young and confused at Teikou too, Momoi-kun. He will eventually grow out of those feelings the same way I did.

 **ryouta:**  Aominecchi has plenty of redeeming qualities!

 **Kagami:** so people are into assholes these days?

 **Kuroko:** Hello, Kagami-kun.

 **Kagami:** hey, Kuroko

 **Kagami:** when aomine gets back online let him know I'm going to beat his ass

10:00am -  **Kagami** went offline

 **ryouta:** the fact that Kagamicchi capitalised Kurokocchi's name but not Aominecchi's is gay

 **Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** you're gay

 **ryouta:** oh shit!! i am!! i didn't realise!!

 **Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** Ki-chan...

 **ryouta:** Momocchi...

 **Tatsuya:** isn't it tiring typing -cchi at the end of everyone's names?

 **ryouta:** I don't type it at the end of  _everyone's_!

 **ryouta:** I've never typed Himurocchi ╮(＾▽＾)╭

 **Tatsuya:** ...that hurt more than it should have

 **ryouta:**  （○□○）

 **ryouta:** please take that back!! I don't want to face Murasakibaracchi's wrath...

 **Tatsuya:** please call me Himurocchi from now on

 **ryouta:** !!!

10:08am -  **ryouta** changed  **Tatsuya** 's nickname to  **Himurocchi**

 **Himurocchi:** this is something I didn't know I needed until now

 **ryouta:** it's like that sometimes

 **Kuroko:** It's really not...

 **ryouta:** Kurokocchi!! don't insult me between the hours of 3am and 11pm!!

 **Kuroko:** ...My previous point has been proven.

 **ryouta:** irrelevant

 **Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):**  it's really not...

 **ryouta:**  Momocchi has been demoted to momoi

 **Himurocchi:** 500 yen says it lasts an hour

 **Kuroko:** 1,000 yen says it lasts ten minutes

 **Himurocchi:** you're on.

10:22am -  _GoM & Co™_

 **ryouta:** Momocchi i'm sorry _:(´□`」 ∠):_

 **Kuroko:**  Looks like I get 1,000 yen.

 **Himurocchi:** that was blatant favouritism!

 **Kuroko:** It really wasn't...

 **ryouta:** favouritism is gross!

 **Kuroko:** You say that as if you weren't Akashi-kun's favourite back at Teikou.

 **ryouta:** eh?

 **ryouta:** I though YOU were his favourite, Kurokocchi!

 **Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** I'm pretty sure you were, Ki-chan!

 **ryouta:** ??????

 **Akashi:** This is slander against my perfect image...

 **Himurocchi:** "slander" hmm?

10:30am -  **ahomine** came online

 **ahomine:** the only slander is you denying it

 **Akashi:** I was not aware that you knew what slander meant, Aomine

 **ahomine:** this attack on my being...it is too much

 **Kuroko:** Aomine Daiki, the Generation of Miracles' resident drama queen.

 **ahomine:** i thought that was Kise?

 **Kuroko:** He was, until you said that.

 **ryouta:** oh, Aominecchi!

 **ryouta:** Kagamicchi said that he's going to "beat your ass" !!

 **ryouta:** (o￣∇￣)=◯)`ν゜)

 **Himurocchi:** ohmygod

 **ahomine:** kise what the hell i thought i was your favourite

 **ryouta:** favouritism is gross!

 **ryouta:** but I think I speak for everyone when I say we all prefer Kagamicchi (^_−)☆

 **ahomine:** what the fuck, no???

 **Himurocchi:** everyone, state your preference!

 **Himurocchi:** Taiga

 **Kuroko:** Kagami-kun

 **ryouta:** Kagamicchi!

 **Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** Dai-chan!

 **Akashi:** I would have to say that I prefer Kagami...

 **ahomine:** what the fuck????

 **ryouta:** "the only one that can beat me is me" seems kind of false now...

 **Kuroko:** "The only one that can beat me is Kagami-kun."

 **ahomine:** okay can we all ignore this in favour of speaking about akashi's preference for kise?

 **Akashi:**  ( ＾◡＾)っ✂

 **ryouta:** Akashicchi used an emoji !! (((( ;°Д°))))

 **Akashi:** How about we speak about your " _preference_ " for Sakurai Ryou, hmm?

 **Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** (preference = big fat crush)

 **Akashi:** Momoi.

10:42 am -  **Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)** went offline

 **ryouta:** Akashicchi !! Momocchi did nothing wrong !!

 **Akashi:** Debatable.

 **ryouta:** besides, she was just joking, right?

 **ryouta:** everyone knows about Aominecchi's crush on Sakurai-kun! o((*^▽^*))o

 **Akashi:** ...

 **Kuroko:** ...

 **Himurocchi:** ...

 **ryouta:** ...am I missing something?

 **Himurocchi:** No, you're doing amazing, sweetie.

 **ryouta:** (*⌒▽⌒*)θ～♪

 **Himurocchi:** ...too good too precious for this world.

 **Akashi:** Agreed.

 **Kuroko:** I must agree as well.

 **ryouta:** eh?!

 **ryouta:** Akashicchi and Kurokocchi think I'm cute?!?

10:49am -  **Kagami** cam online

 **Kagami:** what are we talking about?

 **Kagami:** oh

 **Kagami:** I think you're cute too, Kise, if that means anything!

 **Kuroko:** ...too good too precious for this world.

 **Himurocchi:** Kuroko really out here stealing my lines...

 **ryouta:** waaah!!! even Kagamicchi thinks I'm cute!!! (;﹏;)

 **Akashi:** ...

 **Himurocchi:** am I cute, Taiga?

 **Kagami:** no?

 **Himurocchi:** ):

 **Kagami:** you're hot as fuck, man

 **Himurocchi:** (:

 **Kuroko:** What about me, Kagami-kun?

 **Kagami:** you're a little TOO cute, Kuroko

 **Kuroko:** Kagami-kun, too

 **Kuroko:** Kagami-kun is too cute.

 **Himurocchi:** that's a little gay, Kuroko...

 **Kuroko:** I'm 168cm.

 **Kuroko:**   _I_ am a little gay.

 **ryouta:** HAHAHAHA I JUST SPAT OUT MY DRINK

 **Kagami:** by that logic, does that make me a big gay?

 **ryouta:** big bi

 **Himurocchi:** big gay 2.0

 **Akashi:** Average bi?

 **ryouta:** AVERAGe BI

 **ryouta:** you're an  _extraordinary_ bi, Akashicchi! (*＾v＾*)

 **Akashi:** ...

 **Himurocchi:** Akashi broke!

 **Kuroko:** Akashi-kun may be bi but he is really gay for a certain someone who I will not name.

 **ryouta:** Akashicchi has someone he likes?! (ू′o‵ ू)*✲ﾟ

 **ryouta:** that's unexpected!!

 **Kagami:** oh, yikes

 **Himurocchi:** even Taiga can tell, and he's oblivious to the one after his own heart!

 **Kagami:** hmm? is there someone with a crush on me?

 **Kuroko:** ...

 **Akashi:** Kuroko, murder is not legal and I would not advise committing it.

 **Kuroko:** ...

 **Akashi:** Kuroko.

 **Kuroko:** Yes, Kagami-kun, there is someone who has a crush on you.

 **Kagami:** oh! i never would have thought :o

 **Himurocchi:** this is too funny

 **Kuroko:** @Akashi is it okay if I hurt them without committing murder?

 **Akashi:** Yes.

 **Himurocchi:** WAIT WIATWAIT

 **Himurocchi:** @Murasakibara HEKLOEME

 **Himurocchi:** @Kagami HELP ME STOP YOUR BOYFRJEDN FROM HURTHIG ME

 **Kagami:** !!! Kuroko's not my boyfriend !!!

 **Himurocchi:** NOW'S NOT THETIME S T OP HIM

11:04am -  **Murasakibara** came online

 **Murasakibara:** who's hurting Muro-chin?

 **Kuroko:** Sorry Murasakibara-kun, but he deserves it.

 **Akashi:** I must agree.

 **Murasakibara:** ...

11:06am -  **Murasakibara** went offline

 **Himurocchi:** ATSUSHIYOU TRAITOR

 **ryouta:** Himurocchi, are you aware that Kurokocchi cannot possibly physically harm you?

 **Kuroko:** Time to break Kise-kun's legs.

 **ryouta:** I meant because of the distance!!!!

 **Kuroko:** ...Acceptable.

 **ryouta:** ...phew

 **Himurocchi:** Headlines read: "Local Pretty Boys Barely Walk Away With Their Lives After Being Threatened By A Small Basketball Player"

 **Kagami:** did you just refer to yourself as a pretty boy?

 **Himurocchi:** Alex called me it once by accident

 **Himurocchi:** it kinda stuck

 **Kuroko:** Headlines read: "Said Small Basketball Player Has A Huge Crush On Said Pretty Boy's Best Friend"

 **Kagami:** eh? Kuroko, you have a crush on aomine?

 **ryouta:** Kagamicchi!!! how DARE you call Aominecchi my best friend (ꐦ°᷄д°᷅)

 **Himurocchi:** I don't know what's funnier--Kuroko's failed attempt at seduction or Kise's reaction

 **Akashi:** Lord save us all.


	2. takao is a person that exists

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i imagine this fic takes place on discord? (if you don’t know what discord is, i don’t really know how to explain it so i’m sorry) so i decided to give you a list of roles etc because i loVE playing around with roles on discord so :)  
> [ i also changed the text when kagami was added last chapter so that it seems similar to discord oops ]
> 
> akashi - “captain” role (created the chat - all permissions)  
> midorima - “vice” role (all permissions)  
> kuroko - “phantom” role (all permissions)  
> kise - “pretty boy” role (all chatting permissions + all nickname permissions)  
> murasakibara - “giant™️” role (all chatting permissions + all nickname permissions)  
> aomine - “idiot” role (all chatting permissions sans media + can change others’ nicknames, but not his own)  
> tatsuya - “pretty boy” role  
> momoi - "glorified stalker" role (all chatting permissions + all nickname permissions)
> 
> all roles can invite people to the chat :)

6:23pm -  _GoM & Co™_

** Kuroko ** has given  **Kagami** the  _”idiot”_ role

**Kagami:** um rude

**ryouta** **:** oh, now Kagamicchi and Aominecchi match !!

**Kagami:** what did I ever do to deserve that?

**ryouta:**  @ahomine are you going to stand for this?

6:25pm -  **ahomine** came online

**ahomine:**  @Kagami meet me in the fucking pit

**Kagami:** are you sure?

**ahomine:** fuck yes

**ryouta:** are you  _really_ sure?

**ahomine:** what the hell kise

**ryouta:** it's quite obvious that Kagamicchi would beat you in a fight...

**ahomine:** says who

**ryouta:** ...

**ryouta:**  @Himurocchi

**ahomine:** NOT HIM HE HATES ME

**ryouta:** ...

**ryouta:**  @Kuroko

**ahomine:** tetsu is biased

**ryouta:**  @Akashi

**Kuroko:** Kagami-kun is stronger.

6:30pm -  **Akashi** &  **Himurocchi** came online

**Himurocchi:** of course Taiga could beat your pansy ass in a fight who do you think he is?

**ryouta:**  (✿´ ꒳ ` )

**Akashi:** I refuse to have any input on this.

**ahomine:** are you kidding me?

**Kagami:** can't fight facts

**ahomine:** ...satsuki would root for me!!

**ryouta:** no she wouldn't

**Kuroko:** She wouldn't.

**Himurocchi:** I believe she'd vote for Taiga!

**Akashi:** I think that she would vote for Kagami.

**ahomine:** WHAT. THE HELL.

**ahomine:**  @Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)

6:34pm -  **Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)** came online

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** I believe Kagami would win the fight!

6:34pm -  **ahomine** went offline

**ryouta:** I think we destroyed his ego too badly (๑ˊ▵ॢˋ̥๑)

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):**  As intended!

**ryouta:** whoa there, buddy

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** (;

6:35pm -  **Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)** went offline

**Kagami:** so now that we established that I can win a fight against aomine

**Kagami:** should I actually fight him

**Midorima:** I would not advise that.

**ryouta:**  (´⊙ω⊙`)！

**ryouta:** Midorimacchi! you were here?!?

**Midorima:** Of course.

**Midorima:** I can't seem to figure out how to "go offline"...

**ryouta:** ....

**ryouta:** AHHAHAHAHAHA

**Midorima:** ...

**Midorima:** I found it.

**Midorima:** bye losers

6:39pm -  **Midorima** went offline

**ryouta:** that was so out of character! （・□・；）

**Kuroko:** I agree.

**Kuroko:** But it was funny to see Midorima-kun act like that.

**ryouta:** right!

**ryouta:** anyway, I have a lot of homework to do so I'm logging off now ( ˃̣̣̥ω˂̣̣̥ )

**Kuroko:** Ah, a wise idea.

**Himurocchi:** OH SHIT I HAVE A REPORT DUE thank you for reminding me, Kise

**ryouta:** oh! you're welcome I guess?

**ryouta:** anyway, gotta go now! bye!

6:42pm -  **ryouta** went offline

**Akashi:** Ah. I think it's best if we all focus on our studies.

**Kagami:** Yes sir!

**Akashi:** ...

6:43pm -  **Akashi, Kuroko, Himurocchi** &  **Kagami** went offline

* * *

5:12pm - _GoM & Co™_

**Midorima:** SUP FUCKERS

**ryouta:** ?????

**ryouta:** Midorimacchi, are you okay???

**Midorima:** as good as i'll ever be yes

**Kuroko:** Are you sure?

**ryouta:** you're not doing drugs again, are you?

**Midorima:** wait shin-chan did drugs???

**Midorima:** OH FUCK WAIT  _IM_ SUPPOSED TO BE SHIN-CHAN

**ryouta:** ????

**Midorima:** OH MY GOD HE'S COMING

**Midorima:** FDSHGD

**ryouta:** what just happened..?

5:16pm -  **takao!** joined the server, invited by  **Midorima**

**Kuroko:** Ah, that makes sense.

**takao!:** i just died but it was worth it

**takao!:** anyway is someone going to share the story of shin-chan taking drugs or..?

**ryouta:** oh!!! that's actually a funny story!!

**Kuroko:** Midorima-kun accidentally ate a weed brownie and that was the only time we've ever seen him cry.

**ryouta:** yeah! he started crying because our team was "too powerful" and "didn't give everyone a fair chance" which was really out of character for him...

**takao!:** ok but... _how_ did he acquire the weed brownie i????

**ryouta:** he never told us

**Midorima:** And I never will.

**takao!:** how stingy, shin-chan ):

**Midorima:** "Stingy"...okay.

**ryouta:** I agree with Takao!

**Kuroko:** ^

**takao!:** c'mon shin-chan!!! tell us!!!

**Midorima:** No.

**takao!:** ):

**takao!:** so mean, shin-chan...

**Midorima:** ...

5:22pm -  **Midorima** went offline

**takao!:** wow he's weak as shit

**ryouta:** oh--

**Kuroko:** I agree.

**ryouta:** OH

**takao!:** he hates making me sad

**takao!:** i can tell

**takao!:** so i use it to my advantage (;

**Kuroko:** It seems that it doesn't always work in the way you want it to...

**takao!:** that's the one downside ):

5:25pm -  **Himurocchi** came online

**Himurocchi:** what's happening?

**takao!:** are you that one second-year from yosen?

**Himurocchi:** ...yes?

**takao!:** oh! cool! i've been wanting to meet you!!

**Himurocchi:** but why

**takao!:** you're so pretty i wanted to ask for a picture with you

**Himurocchi:** oh! ///

**ryouta:** Himurocchi machine broke

**takao!:** i guess i'm good at breaking people idk man

**Kuroko:** That's not really a skill to be proud of.

**takao!:** i'll be proud of what i want to be proud of fuck you dad

**Kuroko:** . ok

**ryouta:** he didn't use proper punctuation ‧˚₊*̥(∗*⁰͈꒨⁰͈)‧˚₊*̥

**Himurocchi:** this groupchat but every time Kise uses an emoji they get wilder

**ryouta:** honestly fuck off himuro I can do what I want

**takao!:** is it ooc day or something why are y'all like this

**Himurocchi:** I WAS  _DEMOTED_

**takao!:** sucks to be you

**Himurocchi:** I will throw you

**takao!:** please do god damn

**Kuroko:**  I feel it would be best if we just...leave the chat.

**ryouta:** seconded bye

5:32pm -  **ryouta, Kuroko, Himurocchi** &  **takao!** went offline

* * *

 

5:25am -  _GoM & Co™_

**ryouta:** I'm so sorry  @Himurocchi !!!

**ryouta:** I was tired and stressed I didn't mean to lash out at you ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

**Himurocchi:** it's okay!! I know you didn't mean any harm and I...may have been out of line a little too I guess

**ryouta:** ah!! thank you!!

**ahomine:** gross

**Himurocchi:** shut your ugly mouth I won't hesitate

**ahomine:** what are you gonna do? pretty me to death?

**Himurocchi:** I was legally allowed to own a gun in America.

5:27pm -  **ahomine** went offline

**Kagami:** you have never once owned a gun

**Himurocchi:** he doesn't need to know that

**Kagami:** ...

**Kuroko:** I approve.

**Akashi:** Please continue to put Aomine in his place

**Himurocchi:** will do!

**Himurocchi:** anyway, Taiga do you have plans this saturday?

**Kagami:** yes but why

**Himurocchi:** I was gonna come down to visit but yknow what you and Kuroko have fun

**Kagami:** I never said I was hanging out with Kuroko?

**Himurocchi:** Taiga, you only have two friends

**Kagami:** ...Furihata is my friend

**Kuroko:** Kagami-kun, we are spending Saturday together. Why are you denying this?

**ryouta:** Kagamicchi got exposed!! (*ﾟﾛﾟ)

**Akashi:** Kuroko, you lucky thing.

**ryouta:** eh? does Akashicchi want to spend time with Kagamicchi too??

**Akashi:** ...

**Kuroko:** ...

**Himurocchi:** ...

**ryouta:** ???

**Himurocchi:**  not Taiga specifically, but he wants to spend time with someone special to him, much like Taiga and Kuroko are to each other

**ryouta:** oh, so with the person he likes???

**Akashi:** Yes.

**Akashi:** On another note, Kise, would you like to see a movie with me on Saturday?

**ryouta:** I would love to, but I have an all-day modelling job ( ˃̣̣̥ω˂̣̣̥ )

**ryouta:** maybe the week after?

**Akashi:** I'm afraid I have a very important meeting that Saturday, I'm sorry.

**ryouta:** ah, maybe next time !!

**ryouta:** oh, I have work!! talk to you guys later !! (✿´꒳`)ﾉ°

5:34pm -  **ryouta** went offline

**Kuroko:** Better luck next time, Akashi-kun.

**Akashi:** I hate you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had originally planned to have kise confess having a Big Gay Crush on akashi (in private) in this chapter but then i thought i'd torture myself and make slow burn akakise so that this fic has some semblance of a plot. really, the only point of this fic is for the gay boys to roast aomine.
> 
> [ ps; i love aomine it's just too much fun to bully him ]


	3. they're all so fuckin' gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is all over the place by the end sorry im tired

9:34am -  _GoM & Co™_

 **ryouta:** so my modelling shoot got cancelled

 **ryouta:** which means I’m free today

 **Kuroko:**  @Akashi

9:35am -  **Akashi** came online

 **ryouta:** ahh!!! Akashicchi!!!

 **Akashi:** Hello, Kise.

 **ryouta:** is there any chance that you’d still like to go see a movie with me?

 **Akashi:** It would be my pleasure.

 **Kuroko:** Is this where people normally start making whipping noises?

 **Akashi** **:** I  _trusted_ you.

 **Kuroko:** A bad decision, really.

 **Akashi:** Shouldn’t you be hanging out with Kagami?

 **Kuroko:**  Shouldn’t you be planning your date with Kise-kun?

 **Akashi:**...

 **Akashi:** I’ll private message you to arrange details,  @ryouta

 **ryouta:** okay !!!

9:40am -  **Himurocchi** came online

 **Himurocchi:** is this what it means when they say an Akashi never loses?

 **Himurocchi:** world-wide pretty boy rejects his date offer before calling him up to invite him on a date the same day?

 **Kuroko:** “World-wide pretty boy.”

 **Himurocchi:** I saw a magazine with Kise on the cover in an American store once

 **Himurocchi:** world wide. pretty boy.

 **Kuroko:** Seems reasonable.

 **Himurocchi:** I wish I could be a world-wide pretty boy ):

9:45am -  **takao!** came online

 **takao!** **:** nooo i don't wanna share your beauty

 **Kuroko:** That's gay.

 **Himurocchi:** sorry I'm taken

 **takao!:** omg ):

 **takao!:** my poor, gay heart )):

 **Kuroko:** Me, when Kagami-kun fails to notice my flirting.

 **takao!:** wooow so he  _is_ as oblivious as shin-chan says he is????

 **takao!:** phew boy i'm gonna pray for you

 **Kuroko:** Gee, thanks.

 **takao!:** (;;

 **takao!:** i'll pray for everyone's love life

 **Himurocchi:** my love life is fine, thank you very much

 **takao!:** ok sweetie

**Kuroko** has given  **takao!** the  _"idiot"_ role

**takao!:** UM RUDE

 **takao!:** wait why can't i send pictures???

 **Himurocchi:** it was originally Aomine's role, I don't know what he did to deserve it though

 **ryouta:** Aominecchi "accidentally" sent a dick pic to the chat and Kurokocchi decided "nope" and took away his media privileges!

 **takao!:** OHMYGOD

 **takao!:** that story definitely makes up for me not being able to send pictures

 **Kuroko:** Oh, I forgot that they can't send media.

**Kuroko** removed the  _"idiot"_ role from  **Kagami** and  **takao!**

**Kuroko** created the  _"idiot v2"_ role, adding it to  **Kagami** and  **takao!**

**takao!:**  sent  _offended_.jpg

 **Himurocchi:** you can't meme yourself out of this one, Kazunari

 **takao!:** :o

 **Himurocchi:** oh, sorry, was calling you by your first name crossing a boundary?

 **takao!:** no, please continue

 **takao!:** makes me forget about the fact that shin-chan won't call me kazunari ):

 **Himurocchi:** am I sensing romantic tension?

 **takao!:** you're sensing repressed gay desires

 **Kuroko:** What a relatable thing to say.

 **takao!:** (;

10:33am -  _#gay-feelings_

 **takao!:** why isn't the normal idiot role allowed in this chat?

 **Kuroko:** Aomine-kun is a sin.

 **takao!:** can i rant about  _all_ my gay feelings in here?

 **Kuroko:** Sure, but everyone sans Aomine-kun can see it.

 **takao!:** sweet

 **takao!:** so i'm gay for shin-chan and i will now proceed to rant as to why

10:53am -  _#gay-feelings_

 **takao!:** in conclusion, i have very strong feelings for shin-chan

 **Kuroko:** Why not tell him to his face?

 **takao!:** too scared

 **takao!:** you understand, right? because you flirt w/ kagami instead of telling him you like him?

 **Kuroko:** You're right...

 **takao!:** anyway I'm Gay  @Midorima fix this

10:56am -  **takao!** went offline

* * *

7:34pm -  _GoM & Co™_

 **Kuroko:**  @takao! dig your grave.

 **takao!:** the fuck did i do

 **Kuroko:** Kagami-kun saw what you wrote in  _#gay-feelings_.

 **takao!:** which would mean you got a boyfriend right

 **takao!:** c'mon you can't tell me it wasn't mutual

 **Kuroko:**   _It is not mutual._

 **takao!:** you're shitting me

 **Kuroko:** Why would I lie?

 **Kuroko:** honestly i don't even care it's not like it's the end of th e world

7:38pm -  **Kuroko** left the server

 **takao!:** oh shit ):

 **takao!:**  @Kagami

7:39pm -  **Akashi** and  **Kagami** came online

 **Akashi:** ...

 **Kagami:** holy shit no

 **Kagami:** I didn't mean it like that...

 **Akashi:** Then what did you mean it like? Hmm?

 **Kagami:** when I told him I saw him as my partner, he didn't let me finish

7:42pm -  **Kagami** went offline

 **takao!:** ): <

 **Akashi:** ): < indeed

* * *

8:52pm -  **Kuroko** joined the server, invited by  **Kagami**

 **ryouta:** Kurokocchi!!! you're okay!!! ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

 **Kuroko:** Yes I am, Kise-kun.

 **Kuroko:** ...

 **Kuroko:**  ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)

 **Himurocchi:** that's so cute I just shed a tear

 **Akashi:**  @Kagami You're safe for now.

 **Kagami:** .. ok.

 **ryouta:** I wan't someone to get protective over me the same way Akashicchi gets protective over Kurokocchi o(╥﹏╥)o

 **Akashi:** ...It could be arranged?

 **ryouta:** ...?

 **Akashi:** ...Don't worry about it.

 **takao!:** i bet my entire ass that the feeling was mutual and kuroko just didn't listen

 **Kuroko:** I'm going to beat your ass.

 **takao!:** please be gentle it's my first time (；๏д๏)

 **Kuroko:** Sin.

 **Himurocchi:** this chat but every time someone breathes it gets gayer

 **Kuroko:** Kagami-kun breathed and I got gayer.

 **ryouta:** me when I first saw Kagamicchi

 **Akashi:** ...

 **Kagami:** please spare me, Akashi

 **ryouta:** however, Akashicchi was the one to give me my bi awakening!

 **Akashi:** ...What?

 **ryouta:** I saw you at practice and thought, "wow I'd let him kick me in the face" and that was when Kise Ryouta realised he was bisexual

 **Akashi:** ...Nice.

 **Kuroko:** Nice going, Akashi-kun.

 **Akashi:** I will end you.

 **Kuroko:** No you won't.

 **Akashi:** Debatable.

* * *

4:58pm -  **kotarou** joined the server, invited by **Akashi**

 **kotarou:** OK COOL

 **kotarou:** MISSION SUCCESS

 **Himurocchi:** wh

4:59pm -  **Reo** joined the server, invited by  **kotarou**

5:00pm -  **Nebuya** joined the server, invited by  **kotarou**

5:00pm -  **teppei** joined the server, invited by  **kotarou**

 **kotarou:** you can't have a gom chat and not invite the uncrowned kings ): <

 **Himurocchi:** what about Hanamiya Makoto? Isn't he an uncrowned king?

 **teppei:** Honestly fuck that guy

 **Kagami:** KIYOSHISENPAI

 **kotarou:** he destroyed your last year of basketball  _honestly fuck that guy_

 **Akashi:** Kotarou, if you happen to have an accident at practice, it wasn't me.

 **kotarou:** !!!! my mum just um broke her leg looks like i gotta go home what a shame

 **Akashi:** Skip practice and you'll wish you were dead.

 **kotarou:** f uck

5:03pm -  **kotarou** went offline

 **Akashi:** Good.

5:04pm -  **Akashi** went offline

5:05pm -  _#gay-feelings_

 **ryouta:** Akashicchi scares me but in the way that I'd let him tie me to my bed and have his way with me

 **Himurocchi:** WH

5:07pm -  **Kuroko** pinned a message to the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love the uncrowned kings dont @ me. also, the introduction of them means the introduction of 2 new ships that i won't tag until i add them. take a guess what they are (;


	4. midorima's drug adventure: explained

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fair warning that in future chapters i will most likely insult hanamiya a LOT so sorry if you like him but i will nev e r be nice to him

4:44pm -  _GoM & Co™_

 **takao!** : i’m gay and i can’t do math

 **Himurocchi:** same

 **Akashi:** I'm bi and I  _can_ do math.

 **ryouta:** nobody likes a show-off, Akashicchi (ꐦ ಠ皿ಠ )

 **Kuroko:** That's not what you said the other day.

 **ryouta:** google search how to get away with murder

 **Kuroko:** (;

 **takao!:**  fun drinking game: take a shot every time someone acts out of character

 **Himurocchi:** you'd die

 **takao!:** that's the point

 **Himurocchi:** oh okay

 **ryouta:** Aominecchi should play that game!!

 **ahomine:** WHAT DO YOU GUYS HAVE AGAINST ME

 **Kuroko:** Sin.

 **teppei:** I should play that game with hanamiya

 **Kagami:** KIYOSHISENPAIWHY

 **takao!:** game change: take a shot every time someone insults either aomine or hanamiya

 **Himurocchi:**   _you'd die_

 **hayama:**  @teppei we should break into hanamiya's house and shave his eyebrows off !!

 **teppei:** Oh golly that would be horrifying

 **Kagami:** he'd destroy your other knee!!

 **teppei:** Not if I destroy his first

 **Kagami:** ...

 **Kuroko:** Kagami-kun, Riko-senpai said that if you're late to practice she's tripling your training.

 **Kagami:** oh would you look at that my dad just keeled over and fucking died gotta go

4:55pm -  **Kagami** went offline

 **Himurocchi:** don't listen to him his dad is still in America

 **takao!:** americans can't die?

 **Himurocchi:** indeed

 **Himurocchi:** it's physically impossible for either your brain or organs to stop working as long as you live in America

 **Himurocchi:** that's why the medical expenses are so high

 **ryouta:** sounds horrible

 **takao!:** you sound horrible

 **ryouta:** SAY THAT TO MY FACE (ꐦ°᷄д°᷅)

 **takao!:** AIGHT BITCH

 **Akashi:** Yes, say that to his face.

 **takao!:** nvm i take it back, you're lovely kise

 **ryouta:** you flatter me (⁄ ⁄^⁄ᗨ⁄^⁄ ⁄)

 **Kuroko:** Day 1186 of Kise-kun's obliviousness, things are looking very bleak for Akashi-kun.

 **Akashi:**   _You've been keeping count?_

 **Kuroko:** You haven't?

 **Kuroko:** It makes for great teasing material.

 **Akashi:** You say that as if you were the reason that you and Kagami got together...

 **Kuroko:** Dark web tell me how to hide a body.

 **Akashi:** I don't need the dark web to tell me how to do that.

 **Akashi:** Watch out, Tetsuya.

5:03pm -  **Kuroko** went offline

 **takao!:** fuck shin-chan, akashi is my new favourite gom

 **Himurocchi:** funny how you'd say "fuck shin-chan" considering that's what you're trying to do

 **takao!:** don't call me out like this, tatsuya ):

 **takao!:** tatsu-chan

 **takao!:** baby

 **takao!:** the best bff i could ever ask for

 **takao!:** platonic love of my life

 **Himurocchi:** wanna go on a date?

 **takao!:** g-gasp...cheating on murasakibara?!

 **Himurocchi:** a-a friend date

 **Himurocchi:** you can be my b(est)f(riend)

 **takao!:** deal

 **ahomine:** what the fuck?

 **ryouta:** this reminds me of when Midorimacchi did drugs...

 **Akashi:** When Midorima's lucky item was a box of brownie mix, but the person he bought it off was shady, and when he baked them the next day they turned out to be weed brownies?

 **ryouta:** OHMYGOD  _THAT'S_ WHY????

 **ryouta:** HE REFUSED TO TELL US

 **ryouta:** AKASHICCHI I LOVE YOU

 **Akashi:** ...Me too.

 **ryouta:** he refused to tell you too?? then how'd you find out??

 **Akashi:** ...An Akashi has his ways.

 **ahomine:** they obviously don't have a way to get the guy they like lol

 **Akashi:** Maybe I should pay a visit to Sakurai...

 **ahomine:** OHMY GOD NO SHUT UP ILL SHUT UP PLEASE NO

 **Akashi:** (:

 **ryouta:** oh, Akashicchi, did you get rejected? (;•͈́༚•͈̀)

 **Akashi:** Ah, no, not yet.

 **Akashi:** But thank you for worrying for me, Kise.

 **ryouta:** of course I'd worry for you!!

 **ryouta:** you're one of my closest friends and I'd hate to see you sad!!

 **Akashi:** ...That means a lot to me.

 **AkashI:** Thank you, Kise.

 **ryouta:** it's no problem, Akashicchi! i'm only speaking the truth!

 **Akashi:** ...

 **Akashi:** You mean a lot to me too, Kise.

* * *

8:35pm -  _GoM & Co™_

 **Kagami:** Tetsuya, for the last time I am  _not_ letting you walk all the way to my house so that I can make you a milkshake!

 **Himurocchi:** he brought out the first name!!!

 **Kuroko:** Sorry Taiga-kun, but I fear that I am already outside of your apartment.

 **Himurocchi:** oh I forgot that that's a thing couples do

 **Himurocchi:** I was hoping for some entertainment

 **Kagami:** ): < Tetsuya

 **Kuroko:** (: < Taiga-kun

 **takao!:** are they always like this?

 **teppei:**  Pretty much, yes

 **teppei:** From what I've heard from Hyuuga, they're pretty rowdy at practice

 **takao!:** always arguing rowdy or fucking in the locker rooms rowdy?

 **teppei:** Making out on the court rowdy

 **Kagami:** THAT WAS ONE TIME

 **teppei:** It still happened!

 **Kagami:** ): <

 **Kuroko:** Like you can talk, Kiyoshi-senpai

 **teppei:** Kuroko, no.

 **Kuroko:** You're on thin ice, senpai.

 **teppei:** ):

 **takao!:** HOW COULD YOU MAKE HIM SAD

 **takao!:** kuroko's gotta go

 **Kuroko:** no u

 **takao!:** understandable good day

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy pride month!! i'm tryna rush out a few chapters between assignments and exams, but i hope you guys are having fun ! <3  
> [ p.s. this doesn't quite reach 1k words so i'll write extra next chapter! ]


	5. kagami vs aomine: the long-awaited battle

12:02pm -  _GoM & Co™_

 **Kuroko:** Does anyone want to see a video of my child?

 **takao!:** your what now

 **Kuroko:**  My child.

 **Himurocchi:** Taiga’s certainly been busy

 **Kagami:** oh fuck you

 **Kuroko:**  sent  _nigou_.mp4

 **takao!:** that makes a lot more sense

 **ryouta:** he’s so cute Kurokocchi !! (*≧∀≦*)

 **Kagami:** that’s because he looks like Tetsuya and Tetsuya is  _the_ cutest

 **Kuroko:** You flatter me, Taiga-kun.

 **Kagami:** all part of the job description

 **ahomine:** i  _was_ going to send a video of bakagami running from that damn dog but  _someone_ took away my media privileges

 **Kuroko:** I did not, and will never, want to make seeing your penis a regular occurrence, Aomine-kun.

 **ahomine:** only one person will see my dick on a regular basis (;

 **Kagami:** so, yourself?

 **ahomine:** oh fuck you

 **Kagami:** sorry I have standards ://

 **takao!:** wait why does aomine have a video of kagami dont you two hate each other?

 **Himurocchi:** They're friends

 **Kuroko:** They're friends.

 **ahomine:** stop lying tetsu i'd never made friends with him

 **Kagami:** only because you're worried I'll kick your ass but keep talking

 **ahomine:** i'd like to see you try

 **Kagami:** we can go, right now

 **Kagami:** meet me outside you little bitch

 **ahomine:** you're on

12:14pm -  **Kagami** &  **ahomine** went offline

 **ryouta:** 2,000 yen says Aominecchi eats dirt.

 **Himurocchi:** 3,000 yen says they're equal

 **takao!:** record it for us kuroko

 **Kuroko:**  Already on it.

 **Kuroko:** Taiga-kun is winning.

 **Himurocchi:** Back off, you're biased

 **Kuroko:** ):

 **ryouta:** unacceptable!

 **takao!:** agreed, tatsuya's gotta go ://

 **Himurocchi:** Don't do this to me Kazunari, I thought you loved me

 **takao!:** exactly: lov _ed_

 **Himurocchi:** G-gasp...what do I tell the children?!?

 **takao!:** tell 'em i found a better man

 **Himurocchi:** No man is better than me fuck you

 **takao!:** i would if i could, tatsu-chaaan~

 **Kuroko:** Taiga-kun won.

 **Kuroko:**  sent  _lookatmyman_.mp4

 **ryouta:** I'm gay

 **Kuroko:** Me too, Kise-kun.

 **ryouta:** also,  @Himurocchi pay up

 **Himurocchi:** Well. I'm not even mad.

 **Himurocchi:** I'm going to send that to Sakurai  & Momoi

 **Kuroko:** Please don't. I like it when my boyfriend is breathing.

 **takao!:** why them?

 **ryouta:** Aominecchi protection squad!!

 **takao!:** why would anyone want to protect that loser

 **takao!:** he's not cute like you or kuroko or tatsuya

 **takao!:** or me

 **Akashi:** I believe Sakurai has deep feelings for Aomine, for some reason.

 **takao!:** how do you know that

 **takao!:** no wait dont tell me

 **takao!:** an akashi has his ways

 **Akashi:** No, I've just seen them interact.

 **Himurocchi:** get wrecked kazunari

 **takao!:** i'll wreck you

 **Himurocchi:** Please be gentle with me

 **takao!:** never (;

 **Himurocchi:** Hello 911, I was threatened

 **takao!:** this is japan you loser

 **Himurocchi:** As an American I’m very offended

 **takao!:** yoU’RE NOT EVEN AMERICAN

 **Himurocchi:** Stop hurting me with your words, Kazunari

 **takao!:** would you rather i hurt you with my fists?

 **Himurocchi:** I just asked you to be gentle ):

 **Kuroko:** I think that’s enough.

 **ryouta:** KUROKOCCHI ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆ 

 **Akashi:** Cute.

 **Himurocchi** : Kuroko, how’s my little buddy doing?

 **Kuroko:** I don’t know, ask Murasakibara-kun.

 **takao!:** o-ouch

 **Himurocchi:** Low blow ):

 **Kuroko** : If you want to know how Taiga-kun’s doing, he’s currently ready to “beat Aomine-kun’s ass” again because he refuses to move from the spot in which he was knocked down to 20 minutes ago and Taiga-kun needs to put things there.

 **Himurocchi** : The hero we all need but don’t deserve.

 **takao!:** idk we deserve some peace and quiet from aomine every once in a while

 **takao!** : and if that peace happens to come from kagami beating the everloving shit out of him? so be it!

 **ryouta:** ...brutal

 **Akashi:** I approve.

 **ryouta:** Akashicchi--

 **Kuroko:** I also approve.

 **Himurocchi:** I'm sending this to Sakurai and Momoi

 **Kuroko:** I have to go stop Taiga-kun from beating Aomine-kun up bye

12:35pm -  **Kuroko** went offline

 **takao!:** how convenient

 **ryouta:** very convenient (ー_ーゞ

 **takao!:**  @Akashi, you said you believe sakurai has feelings for aomine??

 **Akashi:** Indeed I did.

 **takao!:** do you wanna ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) maybe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) set them up ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Akashi:** Please put that face away.

 **ryouta:** OOH SETTING AOMINECCHI AND SAKURAI UP?? CAN WE AKASHICCHI??

 **Akashi:** ...Fine, but leave me out of it.

 **ryouta:** YAY (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

 **takao!:** whip

 **Akashi:** I will fight you, and I will win.

 **takao!:** oh, i dont doubt it

 **takao!:** my kink is getting the shit beaten out of me

 **Himurocchi:** That's not healthy...

 **takao!:** ur not healthy

 **Himurocchi:** Mean ):

 **ryouta:** is your friendship based off of mutually insulting each other?

 **takao!:** like you and a*mine

 **ryouta:** why did you sensor Aominecchi's name--

12:40pm -  **Kuroko** came online

 **Kuroko:** I sensed sin.

 **takao!:** that's why

 **ryouta:** understandable

12:42pm -  **koutarou** came online

 **koutarou:** 1) why do you guys always insult aomine? and 2) can i join?

 **takao!:** aomine is about to get ended

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i made a discord would anyone join it? i wanna make more friends to yell about knb with (／≧ω＼)
> 
> [ also ik i said this chapter would be longer but i still have a lot of stuff to worry about with school so i'll try to write smth longer when break starts !! ]


	6. they get nicknames. those nicknames suck.

6:30pm -  _GoM & Co™_

 **takao!:** i've been watching vine compilations to forget the fact that shin-chan doesn't love me

 **Akashi:** Does it work?

 **takao!:** sometimes, yes

 **ryouta:** Akashicchi, Takaocchi, are you okay?? (❁°͈▵°͈)

 **Himurocchi:** ok how come  _I'm_ the only one that had to ask for -cchi at the end of my name???

 **Kagami:** you're literally the only person that wanted it

 **Himurocchi:** y'all are just mean ): <

 **Kuroko:** No, we have self-respect.

 **Himurocchi:** ):

 **Himurocchi:** is it bully Tatsuya day?

 **takao!:** every day is bully tatsuya day

 **Kagami:** sounds fun I'm in

 **Himurocchi:** BICTH

 **takao!:** learn 2 spell, then we'll talk

 **Himurocchi:** learn to capitalize ): <

 **ahomine:** is it just a thing for close friends to be at each other's throats 24/7?

 **ryouta:** so you admit that you and Kagamicchi are close friends?

 **ahomine:** blocked

 **Kagami:** reported

 **ahomine:** my mum's calling your mum

 **Kagami:** you're not invited to my teen queen sweet sixteen summer beach bash birthday party

 **takao!:** OHMYFGFO

 **ryouta:** WHY

 **Himurocchi:** AT LEAST KAZUNARI CAPITALIZED???

 **takao!:** i'm going to delete myself

 **Himurocchi:** you do that

 **takao!:** ... ): <

6:43pm -  **takao!** changed  **Himurocchi** 's nickname to  **bully**

 **bully:** thanks, I hate it!

 **takao!:** thanks, i hate you!

 **bully:** HSHGS AND  _I'M_ THE BULLY???

 **takao!:** YES???

6:45pm -  **bully** changed  **takao!** 's nickname to  **bullyV2**

 **bullyV2:** I HATE Y'ALL

 **ryouta:**  (´;︵;`)

 **bullyV2:** I HATE Y'ALL SANS KISE

 **ryouta:**  (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

 **bully:** BITCH

 **ahomine:** BITCH

 **Kagami:** BITCH

 **bullyV2:** DONT BITCH ME Y'ALL UGLY

 **bully:** I'll have you know that I'm very pretty

 **bullyV2:** you are it hurts

 **bully:** (;

6:47pm -  **teppei** came online

 **teppei:** On the topic of ugly, I saw Hanamiya today

 **bullyV2:** teppei you're a legend

 **teppei:** I know, thanks

 **bully:** get roasted kazunari

 **bullyV2:** no u

 **bully:** understandable have a good day

* * *

3:12am -  _GoM & Co™_

 **bullyV2:** if nigou looks like kuroko and kagami loves kuroko does that make him a furry

10:00am -  _GoM & Co™_

 **Kagami:** the fuck?

 **bullyV2:** no denial?

10:01am -  **bullyV2**  changed  **Kagami** 's nickname to  **furry**

 **furry:** NO

 **furry:** WHY CANT I CHANGE MY NICKNAME

 **Kuroko:** I changed your role back to the same as Aomine-kun.

 **furry:** WHY

 **Kuroko:** This is funny.

 **furry:** ): <

 **bullyV2:** you denying it proves it even more

 **furry:** i dont want to be the only one with a weird nickname ):

10:03am -  **bullyV2** changed  **Kuroko** 's nickname to  **furally**

 **furally:** I take it back I hate this.

 **bullyV2:** you're welcome

10:03am -  **ryouta** came online

 **ryouta:** wh

10:04am -  **bullyV2** changed  **ryouta** 's nickname to  **oblivius**

 **furry:** HOW COME HIS IS TRUE

 **bullyV2** : a kick in the right direction

 **oblivious:** how am I oblivious??

 **furally:** Somebody in this chat has feelings for you.

 **furry:** TETSUYA???????

 **bullyV2:** BOY WYD HE'S GONNA KILL YOU

 **furally:** I'm down for that if it means I don't have to have this stupid nickname anymore.

 **furry:** no I refuse

 **furally:** <3

 **oblivious:**  ONE OF YOU GUYS HAS A CRUSH ON ME????

 **furally:** At least one. I don't know these people.

 **oblivious:** omg!!!!!

 **bullyV2:** kise broke

 **oblivious:** it's weird for someone to have a crush on me for my personality over my looks??

 **oblivious:** I really hope whoever it is confesses, I would love to grow to see them as a lover ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

 **bullyV2:** TOO CUTE

10:10am -  **Kuroko** >  **Akashi**

 **Kuroko:**  Check the chat, Akashi-kun.

10:10am -  _GoM & Co™_

10:10am -  **Akashi** came online

 **Akashi:** Oh.

 **Akashi:** That is a very sweet thought, Kise.

 **oblivious:**  (๑>ᴗ<๑)

10:11am -  **bullyV2** changed  **Akashi** 's nickname to  **obvious**

 **obvious:** Murder is not legal, Seijuro. Refrain.

 **bullyV2:** I Suddenly Have To Go.

10:11am -  **bullyV2** went offline

 **oblivious:** ?

10:12am -  **bully** came online

10:12am -  **bully** changed  **obvious** 's nickname to  **Loverboy**

 **furally:** The hero we all need but don't deserve.

 **Loverboy:** Kuroko, I gave you administrator privileges because I knew you wouldn't let this chat become a mess.

 **Loverboy:** But what did you do?

 **furally:** I let this chat become a mess...

 **Loverboy:** Despicable.

 **furally:** I'm sorry, Akashi-kun.

 **bully:** bet.

 **furally:** No.

 **bully:** BET

 **furally:** NO.

 **Loverboy:** I regret this chat.

* * *

9:20am -  _GoM & Co™_

 **bullyV2:** Hi I'm Bored

 **bully:** don't text in class you loser

 **bullyV2:** a tad bit hypocritical

 **bully:** I'm a second year I can do what I want

 **bullyV2:** understandable have a nice day

 **oblivious:** math can stab me and not in the fun way

 **bullyV2:** when is getting stabbed fun????

 **oblivious:** when it's Akashicchi doing the stabbing

 **bullyV2:** ????

9:22am -  **furally** pinned a message to the chat

 **oblivious:** KUROKOCCHI'S BEEN DEMOTED TO KUROKO

 **furally:** What will I ever do now?

 **bullyV2:** what happened to our previous innocent kuroko?

 **furally:** Dead.

 **bullyV2:** rip he'll be mist

 **furally:** I'd say no you but that'd be a lie.

 **bully:** GET ROASTED KAZUNARI

 **bullyV2:** GET FUCKED TATSUYA

 **bully:** I can't I'm in class ),:

 **bullyV2:** stop flaunting your relationship i h8 you

 **bully:** sucks to suck

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WENT ONTO THE FURRY SIDE OF REDDIT TO GET KUROKOS NICKNAME I HATE THIS
> 
> anyway, hi, the link to the discord server i created is  **[here](https://discord.gg/3BgrGGd)** it's a work in progress please don't bully me for the namES anyway i'd be happy even if only one of you joined n screamed with me (,:  
>  [there's also a section where u can ask me abt this fic n bully me into writing the next chapters bc i have no self motivation thx] + i'm going to bed as i post this so i wont be online for about 8 hours it'll be lonely till then m sorry


	7. operation get aomine (& akashi) a boyfriend

2:43pm -  _GoM & Co™_

**furally:**  sent  _whyishesodumb_.mp4

**bully:** IS THAT RYOUTA AND AKASHI

**bullyV2:** "the person i like is very oblivious to my feelings" WAY TO BE OBVIOUS

**bully:** I can't believe Ryouta straight-up told him to confess

**bullyV2:** "i like you, kise"

**bullyV2:** "yes,, like that!!!"

**furry:** i think i saw a tear on Akashi's cheek

**bullyV2:** the way you zoomed in on his face was like one of those "hello darkness my old friend" videos

**bully:** how'd you even get that video?

**furally:** Taiga-kun and I were walking to the basketball court and saw them there.

**bullyV2:** doesn't akashi live really far away, though?

**bullyV2:** OMG HOLD THAT THOUGHT

**bullyV2:**  sent  _rip_.jpg

**furally:** Why is Midorima-kun lying on the ground?

**bullyV2:** he went to adjust his glasses and poked the lenses

**bullyV2:** he looked so horrified and he kinda just...crumpled to the ground

**bully:**  sounds like some dumb shit you'd do, Kazunari

**bullyV2:** poke shin-chan in the eye? yea

**bully:** PFT OKAY

**furally:**  sent  _hedidthat_.mp4

**bully:** DID HE REALLY JUST

**bully:** "YOU'RE SO STUPID AND I LOVE YOU"

**bully:** how does Ryouta  _still_ not understand?

**furally:** He is not the brightest...

**bully:** remember when Taiga could relate?

**furry:** We do not talk about that.

**bully:** oh but we do (;

**furry:** google search how do I delete my best friend

**bully:** AW I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND?

**furry:** NO BACK OFF

**bully:** TAIGA THAT'S SO CUTE

**furry:** NO

**furry:** wait

**furry:** ...Kise just pulled out his phone?

2:58pm -  **ryouta** >  **Kuroko**

**ryouta:** Akashicchi just told me he loves me but I don't know if it's like a friend or more and I'm frEAKING OUT KUROKOCCHI HELP ME (ノ´ロ`)ノ

**Kuroko:** Do you like Akashi-kun, Kise-kun?

**ryouta:** PFT

**ryouta:** HA

**ryouta:**  ...I don't know.

**Kuroko:** Oh deary me.

**Kuroko:** Kise-kun, it shouldn't really matter if Akashi-kun meant it romantically or not if you're unsure of your own feelings. Even if he meant it platonically, you're a very pretty boy with a lot of good qualities, so I'm sure that it would be easy for Akashi-kun to fall for you.

**ryouta:** Kurokocchi saying something nice about me?!?!

**ryouta:** but I don't really see a future where Akashicchi could fall for me...

**Kuroko:** That's okay Kise-kun. But I'm sure it could happen.

**ryouta:** thank you Kurokocchi!

**ryouta:** now I need to pay attention to Akashicchi before he thinks im bored!!

**Kuroko:** Enjoy your date, Kise-kun.

**ryouta:** it's not a date（＊〇□〇）……！

**Kuroko:** Okay, Kise-kun.

3:15pm -  **Kuroko** created  _Kise-kun and Akashi-kun are dumb_

3:16m -  **Kagami** ,  **Tatsuya** &  **takao!** joined the server, invited by  **Kuroko**

**Tatsuya:** agreed but why

**Kuroko:**  sent  _kisekunwhy_.jpg

**Tatsuya:** oh ok

**Kagami:** wow.

**takao!:** what a predicament indeed.

**takao!:** so we're gonna set them up right?

**Tatsuya:** exactly what I was thinking!

**Kagami:** that cannot end badly at all

**Kuroko:** I agree with Taiga-kun.

**takao!:** c'mon..!

**takao!:** it'll help me distract myself from my unrequited crush ):

**Kuroko:** ...

**Kagami:** I'm mentally weak so I'm in

**Kuroko:** ...If Taiga-kun agrees, I do as well.

**takao!:** YES!!!

**takao!:** but how are we gonna do it?

**Kuroko:** Next weekend I can call a GoM + Taiga-kun basketball match and make sure they're always on the same team?

**Tatsuya:** Good idea, can I come?

**Kuroko:** I don't see why not.

**takao!:** CAN I COME TOO??

**takao!:** AS SHIN-CHAN'S PLUS ONE?

**Kuroko:** Again, I don't see why not.

**takao!:**   _yes_

**takao!:** ALSO KUROKO COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOUR??

**Kuroko:** Depends if it involves a dead body or not.

**takao!:** would you help me if it did?

**Kuroko:** I'm afraid that that information is classified at this time.

**Kuroko:** However, hypothetically speaking, I would.

**takao!:** ...moving on

**takao!:** could you create a channel in the main chat that's not accessible to aomine called "operation get aomine a bf"

**Kuroko:** Done.

**takao!:**   _sweet_

3:28pm -  _GoM & Co™_

**bullyV2:** aomine's not online phew

**furally:** I have never related to a sentence more in my life.

**furry:** didn't you two used to be best friends?

**furally:** I also used to have a crush on him but times have changed, Taiga-kun.

**furally:** I have standards now.

**bullyV2:** FUJC ROAST HIM

**bullyV2:** wait that's not why i'm here

**bullyV2:**  @bully add sakurai

**bully:** oh I like where this is going

**bully:** I sent him an invitation, now all we have to do is wait

**bullyV2:**  @furally before he gets here get a role ready that can't access the Scheme Chat please

**furally:** Only because you said please.

**bullyV2:** would it be appropriate to tell you i love you in this situation?

**furry:** No.

**bullyV2:** HAHA

3:32pm -  **Sakurai** joined the server, invited by  **bully**

**Sakurai:** Sorry for the intrusion..!

**bully:** don't worry about it Sakurai!

**furally:** You're no trouble.

**Sakurai:** Ah, I'm sorry, but I don't recognise any of you..?

**bully:** oh right

3:33pm -  **bully** changed their nickname to  **Tatsuya**

3:33pm -  **Tatsuya** changed  **bullyV2** 's nickname to  **Kazunari**

3:34pm -  **Tatsuya** changed  **furally** 's nickname to  **Kuroko**

3:34pm -  **Tatsuya** changed  **furry** 's nickname to  **Taiga**

**Kazunari:** kuroko got last-name-zoned

**Kuroko:** Good.

**Tatsuya:** oh, my bad

3:36pm -  **Tatsuya** changed  **Kuroko** 's nickname to  **Tetsuya**

**Kazunari:** too close

**Tetsuya:** I've removed your nickname privileges, Himuro-kun.

**Tatsuya:** sad, you just removed Ryouta's as well.

**Tetsuya:** I never liked that guy anyway.

3:37pm -  **Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)** came online

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** Tetsu-kun's just jealous because of Ki-chan and Dai-chan's relationship back at Teikou!

**Tetsuya:** Well.

**Tetsuya:** It looks like Momoi's gotta go.

**Tatsuya:** Elaborate. Please.

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** So we all know of Tetsu-kun's crush on Dai-chan, yes?

**Sakurai:** Kuroko has a crush on Aomine?!?

**Sakurai:** I'm sorry I'll back off I'm sorry!!!!!

**Tetsuya:** I  _used_ to, Sakurai-kun. It's fine.

**Sakurai:** Oh, okay. That's a relief.

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** Anyway, Tetsu-kun had a crush on Dai-chan, but so did Ki-chan!

**Tatsuya:** the plot thickens

**Kazunari:** OT3

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** And it turns out that Dai-chan liked Ki-chan too!

**Taiga:** I'm going to go give my boyfriend love right now at this very moment in time goodbye.

**Tatsuya:** oh.

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** So Dai-chan and Ki-chan started dating, but broke up after Teikou fell apart. They lasted about 6 months.

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** I think Tetsu-kun is still angry because he feels like he and Dai-chan could have had a longer relationship than he and Ki-chan?

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** I don't know, but it was very disheartening for both Akashi-kun and I!

**Kazunari:** ?

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** Seeing the person you're in love with fall in love with someone else is very heartbreaking, no?

**Kazunari:** wait. so.

**Kazunari:** you mean to tell me that akashi's liked kise since middle school?

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** I believe he started having feelings for him about a month after he became a regular?

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** At least, that's when I picked up on his feelings, at least...

**Kazunari:** that must've been really tough

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** We got through it, didn't we?

**Momoi (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝):** I got over Tetsu-kun, Akashi-kun is trying his hardest to court Ki-chan, and Tetsu-kun fell for Kagamin, so it all worked out!

**Kazunari:** speaking of, where'd they go?

3:53pm -  **Loverboy** came online

**Loverboy:**  sent _blackmailmaterial_.jpg

**Loverboy:** Kise and I found these two cuddling on a park bench.

**Tatsuya:** CUTE

**Loverboy:** Wait, my name...

**Tatsuya:** I got you.

**Tatsuya:** oh wait

**Tatsuya:** Kuroko removed my privileges...):

3:55pm -  **Kazunari** changed  **Loverboy** 's nickname to  **Seijuro**

**Seijuro:** Oh, okay.

**Tatsuya:** maybe now Ryouta will call you buy your first name?

**Seijuro:** We can only hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, characterizing new characters is hard
> 
> anyway, once again, there's a link to the knb discord i made **[here](https://discord.gg/Frk7QGv)** , and it would be great if you joined us!


	8. 'the cute one'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a bit of bday discussion and i'm going to pretend that i didn't forget kise's birthday

7:00pm -  _GoM & Co™_

 **Kazunari:**  @Everyone we're going to all play basketball at the local court for shin-chan's birthday on the 7th be there or i'll eat you alive

 **Taiga:** who's classified as 'everyone'?

 **Kazunari:** the gom and a plus one

 **Sakurai:** Sorry but, can I come as Aomine's plus one?

 **Kazunari:** of course!

 **Sakurai:** ..Yay!!

 **kotarou:**  @Seijuro CAN I BE YOUR PLUS ONE??

 **Seijuro:** No, you're staying home.

 **koutarou:** ):

 **Kazunari:** akashi's gotta go

 **Seijuro:** Why would you even want to come?

 **koutarou:** so I can beg Kuroko to bring someone from his team

 **Taiga:** _I'm_ Tetsuya's plus one

 **koutarou:** be Momoi's plus one so that Kuroko can bring the cute one from his team

 **Taiga:** Tetsuya  _is_ the cute one

 **koutarou:** you're impossible

 **Tetsuya:** I know.

 **Tetsuya:** But why do you want me to bring whoever 'the cute one' is, Hayama-kun?

 **koutarou:** because they're cute and I like them???

 **koutarou:** why else?

 **Tetsuya:** Oh.

 **koutarou:** moving on,  @Seijuro can I be your plus one?

 **Seijuro:** ...I suppose.

 **koutarou:** YES!!

 **oblivious:** Kagamicchi can be my plus one (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

 **Kazunari:** oh shit kise's name

7:10pm -  **Kazunari** changed  **oblivious** 's nickname to  **ryouta**

 **ryouta:** back to square one

7:10pm -  **Kuroko** >  **koutarou**

 **Kuroko:** Who's the pretty one that I need to bring?

 **koutarou:** Izuki Shun

 **Kuroko:** ...

 **Kuroko:** Why would you subject yourself to that?

 **koutarou:** he's cute and funny I guess

 **Kuroko:** "I guess."

 **Kuroko:** ...I'll ask him, and if he asks why I'm ratting you out.

 **koutarou:** fine by me

 **Kuroko:** ...You owe me

7:18pm -  _GoM & Co™_

 **Kazunari:** so who's birthday's after shin-chan's?

 **Taiga:** mine? august 2nd

 **koutarou:** july 25th! ha!

 **Taiga:** go away, you're old

 **koutarou:** ):

 **Kazunari:** kagami's gotta go

 **Taiga:** ok

 **Kazunari:** damn

7:22pm -  **Tatsuya** came online

 **Tatsuya:** ah, Shuuzou's birthday is on the 10th...

 **Tetsuya:** Shuuzou?

 **Tetsuya:** As in Nijimura Shuuzou?

 **Tatsuya:** do you know him?

 **Tetsuya:** Only because he captained the Teikou basketball first string until his father fell ill.

 **Tatsuya:** oh shit

 **Seijuro:** Ah, Nijimura-san.

 **Tatsuya:** is he the only person you use an honorific when addressing?

 **Seijuro:** Maybe so.

7:25pm -  **ahomine** came online

 **ahomine:** i just woke up someone explain why Ryou's here

 **Tatsuya:** it's almost 7:30pm??

 **ahomine:** and? is someone going to explain or what?

 **Tatsuya:** you never cease to amaze me, Aomine...

 **ahomine:** thanks i'm pretty great now someone explain

 **ryouta:** why so desperate to know, Aominecchi (๑•̌.•̑๑)ˀ̣ˀ̣

 **ryouta:** you didn't even care when everyone else was added!

 **Tatsuya:** no, he freaked when Taiga was added!

 **ahomine:** shut up oh my god

 **Sakurai:** Eh? Aomine is scared of Kagami?

 **ahomine:**   _no_ aomine is  _not_ scared of bakagami

 **Tatsuya:** ...right

 **Tatsuya:** shall we lie again and say that you won the fight against Taiga as well?

 **ahomine:** SHUT UP

 **Sakurai:** Aomine got into a fight!? Are you okay?!

 **ahomine:** of course I'm fine...

 **ryouta:** nothing but a bruised ego (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

 **ahomine:** stop making me look bad in front of Ryou..!

 **ryouta:** ...oh my god

 **Tatsuya:** ..you see it too, Ryouta?

 **ahomine:** ?

 **ryouta:** AOMINECCHI ACTUALLY CAPITALISED SOMEONE'S NAME!!!! ⁽⁽٩(๑˃̶͈̀ ᗨ ˂̶͈́)۶⁾⁾

 **ahomine:** ...

7:30pm -  **ahomine** went offline

 **Tatsuya:** every time...

 **Sakurai:** Is Aomine okay???

 **Tatsuya:** perhaps you should ask him?

 **Sakurai:** Good idea!! I'll do that now!!

 **Tatsuya:** good luck!

 **Sakurai:** Thank you!!

7:31pm -  **Sakurai** went offline

 **ryouta:** he's cute can I keep him??

 **Seijuro:** No.

 **Tatsuya:** whoa there buddy

 **Seijuro:** If he and Aomine end up dating, chances are that Aomine would be less annoying.

 **Tatsuya:** nice save

 **Seijuro:** And it would grant us more blackmail and roast material.

 **Tatsuya:** PFT

 **koutarou:** is Kuroko online???

 **Tetsuya:** Hi.

 **koutarou:** SWEET

 **koutarou:** Kuroko I've seen the chat to plot Aomine and Sakurai's betrothal

 **Tatsuya:** betrothal is a nice word

 **koutarou:** and I was wondering

 **Tetsuya:** Yes..?

 **koutarou:** if you could help set me and Izuki up?

 **Taiga:** IZUKI-SENPAI IS THE PRETTY ONE??

 **koutarou:** YEAH???

 **Tetsuya:** Sorry, Hayama-kun, but I have a limit of 2 plots operating at a time.

 **ryouta:** 2..?

 **Tetsuya:** Which is why I will gladly accept your request!

 **ryouta:**  (・_・ヾ

 **Tatsuya:** smooth

 **Tetsuya:** Hush.

7:38pm -  **Akashi** > **Kuroko**

 **Akashi:** I know the other plot is for Kise and I.

 **Kuroko:** I have no idea what you're talking about, Akashi-kun.

 **Akashi:** Tetsuya.

 **Kuroko:** Okay, fine.

 **Kuroko:** We're all sick of how dumb Kise-kun is being, so we created a new chat to discuss how we could possibly make Kise-kun realises your feelings towards him.

 **Akashi:** Delete the chat.

 **Kuroko:** Akashi-kun...

 **Akashi:** Tetsuya, I am handling it.

 **Akashi:** I want to convey my feelings to him myself, so please but out.

 **Kuroko:** ...Okay, Akashi-kun.

 **Kuroko:** I promise that I'll delete the chat.

 **Akashi:** Thank you, Kuroko.

7:44pm -  _Kise-kun and Akashi-kun are dumb_

 **Kuroko:** Akashi-kun wants me to delete this chat.

 **takao!:** tell him no tf

 **Kuroko:** I already did. He said no to my no.

 **Tatsuya:** this is so sad Taiga play despacito

 **Kagami:** I suddenly don't have a brother anymore

 **Tatsuya:** TAIGA NO..!!

 **Kagami:** take it back

 **Tatsuya:** ...I take it back

 **Kagami:** thanks

 **takao!:** hi um i reject akashi's rejection of your rejection

 **Kuroko:** And I reject your rejection of Akashi's rejection of my rejection.

 **takao!:** WHY?

 **Kuroko:** Akashi-kun wants to convey his feelings by himself, so I feel that it is right for us to leave this subject alone.

 **takao!:** ...okay

 **Tatsuya:** I fully support him!!

 **Kuroko:** Thank you for understanding.

7:49pm -  **Kuroko** deleted  _Kise-kun and Akashi-kun are dumb_

7:50pm -  **koutarou** >  **Kuroko**

 **koutarou:** you're not actually gonna help me, are you?

 **Kuroko:** Izuki-senpai likes you as well so just ask him out please I beg of you I don't know how much more of this I can take.

 **koutarou:** ..?

 **Kuroko:** His jokes got  _worse_.

 **koutarou:** gotcha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aosaku and hayaizu are good for the soul and ill fight anyone that tries to tell me otherwise  
> (aomine trying to impress sakurai makes my heart <3)


	9. whip dab they all got dragged

6:21pm -  _GoM & Co™_

 **Tatsuya:** the highlight of today was Kazunari decking Midorima and you can't convince me otherwise

 **teppei:** now why would he do that

 **Tatsuya:** honestly, I don't know?? neither of them said anything about it..

 **Seijuro:** Could this be about how Midorima deleted this app right before Takao confessed to him through it?

 **Tatsuya:** YOU REALLY KNOW EVERYTHING DONT YOU

 **Seijuro:** I suppose so.

 **Kazunari:** YOU KNEW AND DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING???

 **Seijuro:** I suppose so.

 **Kazunari:** why didn't you say anything??

 **Seijuro:** It didn't occur to me that that would be beneficial.

 **Kazunari:** h o w

 **Seijuro:** ...That was a lie, Midorima and I have a confidentiality pact and he told me not to tell you.

 **Kazunari:** w h y

 **Seijuro:** I don't exactly know.

 **Kazunari:** ok but are you lying?

 **Seijuro:** ...

 **Seijuro:** Yes.

 **Kazunari:** tell me. please.

6:30pm -  **Midorima** came online

 **Midorima:** That kind of defeats the purpose of a secret, doesn't it?

 **Kazunari:** FCUK OFF SHINCHAn

 **Tatsuya:** :o

 **Midorima:** I apologise, Takao.

 **Kazunari:** don't make me come beat you up again

 **Tatsuya:** it seems that in order to start dating someone there needs to be some drama beforehand...

 **koutarou:** wrong

 **koutarou:** I'm dating Izuki and there wasn't any drama :)

 **Tatsuya:** pure

 **Kazunari:** shut up this isn't about you ): <

 **koutarou:** ):

 **Tatsuya:** don't listen to him, Hayama, we're very happy for you!

 **koutarou:** :)!

 **Kazunari:** imgonna beat my own ass

 **Tatsuya:** ...Kazunari ):

 **Kazunari:** i'm fin e i just need a breather

 **Kazunari:** just

 **Kazunari:** a breather

6:37pm -  **Kazunari** went offline

 **Tatsuya:** ...

 **Tatsuya:** anyway, the tension between Sakurai and aomine was difficult to endure today

 **Tetsuya:** As is every day.

 **Tatsuya:** :o you're right

 **koutarou:** y'know who else's tension is difficult to endure?

 **Seijuro:** Say a word and I slit your throat.

 **koutarou:** ...

 **koutarou:** Akashi and Kise's

 **koutarou:** I'm gonna go run for my life someone tell Shun that he means the world to me

6:40pm -  **koutarou** went offline

 **Seijuro:** ...

 **Tatsuya:** it's okay Akashi, Ryouta isn't online right now!

 **Seijuro:** Oh, it's not that.

 **Seijuro:** The dumbass left Snapchat maps on so I'm trying to figure out when's the best time to strike.

 **Tetsuya:** Akashi-kun, no.

 **Seijuro:** Akashi-kun, yes.

 **teppei:** Akashi-kun, yes.

 **Tatsuya:** is this group's only purpose to insult each other?

 **Tetsuya:** Pretty much, yes.

 **Akashi:** Right, well.

 **Akashi:** I'm going to go hunt Hayama down, bye.

6:43pm -  **Akashi** went offline

 **Tatsuya:** legends only

 **Tetsuya:** Akashi-kun is far from a legend.

 **Tatsuya:** f uck

 **Tatsuya:** d e st r o y hi m

 **Tetsuya:**  :)

6:45pm -  **ryouta** came online

 **ryouta:** what've I missed

 **Tatsuya:** hi don't scroll up

 **Tetsuya:** Way to go.

 **Tatsuya:**  I may or may not have panicked

 **ryouta:** oh.

 **Tatsuya:** I'm sorry please don't hurt me I didn't mean to reveal Akashi's crush on you

 **ryouta:** I already knew that Akashicchi likes me, I was just worried for Hayama

 **Tatsuya:** WHAT

 **Tetsuya:** WHAT?

 **teppei:** WHAT

 **ryouta:** I'm not as dumb as you guys think I am

 **Tatsuya:** Ryouta, we don't think you're dumb

 **Tetsuya:** Just a little oblivious at times.

 **ryouta:** ha ha

 **ryouta:** I read the chat when Momocchi explained the stuff between Aominecchi, Kurokocchi and I

 **ryouta:** and I'm not so dumb as to not believe it when the evidence is staring me straight in the face

 **Tatsuya:** wow

 **Tatsuya:** why haven't you said anything?

 **ryouta:** I want to fall in love with Akashicchi before I say anything

 **Tatsuya:** ...

 **Tatsuya:** that's such a cute thought.

 **ryouta:** maybe so

 **ryouta:** anyway, please delete these messages. I don't want Akashicchi to know anything.

 **Tatsuya:** gotcha bud

 **ryouta:** thank you

* * *

10:34am-  _GoM & Co™_

 **Tetsuya:** Taiga-kun is very attractive and I feel personally attacked by it.

 **Tatsuya:** I'd say I relate but Atsushi scares me sometimes

 **ryouta:** men look hotter when they scare you (*^▽^*)

 **Tetsuya:** They're a match made in heaven...

 **ryouta:**  (‘◇’)?

 **koutarou:** don't be so gay, Kuroko

 **Tetsuya:** I set you and Izuki-senpai up and I can break you up.

 **Tetsuya:**  Don't test me, bitch.

 **koutarou:** I will shut up now.

 **Tetsuya:** good idea

 **ryouta:** Kurokocchi!!

 **ryouta:** you kiss Kagamicchi with that mouth??（｀Δ´）

 **Tetsuya:** Every day I get closer and closer to banning Kise-kun from this chat.

 **ryouta:** RUDE

 **Tatsuya:** why don't you?

 **ryouta:**   _RUDE_

 **Tetsuya:** You didn't hear it from me, but I'm scared of Akashi-kun.

 **Tatsuya:** what a relatable thing to say

 **Tetsuya:** Hush.

 **Seijuro:** Why is everyone scared of me?

 **Tatsuya:** OH GOD HE WAS ONLINE

 **Tetsuya:** I suddenly have to go walk Nigou.

10:40am -  **Tetsuya** went offline

 **Tatsuya:**   _weakling_

 **ryouta:** AKASHICCHI!!

 **Seijuro:** Yes, Kise?

 **ryouta:** when do you leave?

 **Seijuro:** 5pm.

 **ryouta:** do you want to hang out? (≧∇≦*)

 **Seijuro:** It would be my greatest pleasure.

 **ryouta:** !!!

 **ryouta:** I'll send you a dm so that we can sort things out!

 **Seijuro:** Okay :)

 **Tatsuya:** /whip/

 **Seijuro:** I have no idea what you're implying.

 **Tatsuya:** ;)

 **Seijuro:** ...

 **Seijuro:** I have things to discuss with Kise, goodbye.

 **Tatsuya:** all alone ):

 **Tatsuya:** oh wait

10:45am -  **Tetsuya** came online

 **Tetsuya:** I sensed a bad idea.

 **Tatsuya:** ;)

 **Tetsuya:** Oh, no.

 **Tetsuya:** Nothing good ever comes from you.

 **Tatsuya:** UM, RUDE

10:47am -  **takao!** joined the server, invited by  **Tatsuya**

 **takao!:**  hewwo i-i've wetuwnyed :3

10:48am -  **Tetsuya** banned  **takao!** from the server

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy belated birthday to midorima & nijimura (& me)
> 
> every time i opened this to write it i'd also open bandori i think i have a problem  
> 


	10. kise pls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> timeline's not important in this fic considering it kinda takes place post last game but not really? but the first part takes place the day after midorima's bday (the same day as the ending of last chapter)  
> also happy belated bday to kagami!! i love you, ya big dork <3

5:00pm -  _GoM & Co™_

 **Tetsuya:** I witnessed a wonderful thing today.

 **Tatsuya:** tell us  _after_ you unban Kazunari

 **Tetsuya:** ...

 **Tetsuya:** Fine.

5:01pm -  **takao!** joined the server, invited by  **Tetsuya**

 **takao!:** 'sup bitches

 **ryouta:**  déjà vu...

 **Tetsuya:** Ignoring him.

 **takao!:** rude

 **Tetsuya:** I witnessed a wonderful thing today.

 **Taiga:**  we all did

 **ryouta:** is this what I think it is..?

 **Tetsuya:** Akashi-kun blushed, full-faced red.

 **Tatsuya:** DID YOU GET A PICTURE???

 **takao!:** IF YOU DIDN'T GET A PICTURE IM LEAVING

 **Tetsuya:** I guess I have to delete that picture now...

 **takao!:** so mean ):

 **Tetsuya:** I don't want to send the picture.

 **Tetsuya:** I value my life.

 **ryouta:** oh, I wanted the picture (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯)

 **Tetsuya:** Kise-kun will protect my life.

 **Tetsuya:**  sent  _red_ ,jpg

 **takao!:** ok but

 **takao!:**   _why_ was he blushing??

 **Tetsuya:** (:

 **Taiga:** (:

 **ryouta:** no..!

 **Tetsuya:** Taiga-kun and I ran into Akashi-kun and Kise-kun while they were spending the day together.

 **Tetsuya:** So we decided to all get lunch together.

 **takao!:** i don't know how i feel about where this is going

 **Taiga:** hush

 **Tetsuya:** So we were eating together, and Kise-kun mentions that it's 'cute' how Taiga-kun and I call each other by our given names.

 **Tatsuya:** Ryouta you're not slick

 **Tetsuya:** And he turns to Akashi-kun and says, "isn't that right,  _Seijuro_."

 **Tetsuya:** And thus, Akashi-kun blushed.

 **ryouta:** I want to die

 **Taiga:** Akashi looked like he wanted to call Kise by his given name but didn't

 **Tetsuya:** He only calls us by our given names when he's mad.

 **Taiga:** ah, makes sense

 **ryouta:** I would get on my knees the instant Akashicchi said my given name

5:23pm -  **Tetsuya** pinned a message to the chat

 **ryouta:** KUROKOCCHI NO

 **Tetsuya:** Kurokocchi yes.

 **Tetsuya:** Akashi-kun gave me admin privileges and I intend to use them to the fullest extent.

 **ryouta:** stop pinning the embarrassing things I say ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

 **Tetsuya:** Stop saying embarrassing things.

 **Tatsuya:** he's got you there Ryouta

 **ryouta:** I don't need my mistakes immortalized

5:25pm -  **ahomine** came online

 **ahomine:** you don't need tetsu's help for that

 **ryouta:** Kagamicchi beat aomine's ass again

 **ahomine:** NO

 **Tetsuya:** I agree with Kise-kun.

 **Tetsuya:** aomine-kun needs to be put in his place.

 **ahomine:** even tetsu's writing my name lowercase now??

 **Tetsuya:** Begone, sin.

 **ahomine:** at least Ryou and satsuki will show me love

 **Tetsuya:** You didn't even capitalize Momoi-san's name.

 **ahomine:** oh

 **ahomine:** at least Ryou will show me love

 **ryouta:** a horrible decision, really

 **ahomine:** shut up you're in love with our not-so-friendly neighbourhood yandere over there

 **ryouta:** love is such a strong word

 **ryouta:** I prefer the term smitten

 **Tatsuya:** THAT'S SO CUTE

 **ahomine:** again, with  _akashi_

 **ryouta:** Akashicchi really is fun to hang out with!! I enjoy spending time with him and it's always sad when he has to go back home...

 **Tatsuya:**  @takao! our son's all grown up!

 **takao!:** i'm a proud dad

 **ryouta:**  (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

 **ahomine:** gross

 **Tetsuya:** aomine-kun is mad because nobody is stupid enough to fall for him in this day and age

 **Tatsuya:** not true!

 **Tatsuya:** he has you know who

 **Tetsuya:** Ah, yes.

 **Tetsuya:** Smart people can be so dumb sometimes.

 **ahomine:** ???

 **Tetsuya:** No.

 **Tatsuya:** aomine: breathes

 **Tatsuya:** Kuroko: really? right in front of my salad?

 **takao!:** that meme's dead go home

 **Tatsuya:** oh god I wish I was that meme

 **takao!:** STOP

 **Tatsuya:** no you

 **takao!:** understandable

* * *

7:45am -  _#operation-get-aomine-a-bf_

 **takao!:** we never used this chat how fake

 **Tetsuya:** Does aomine-kun  _really_ deserve love?

 **takao!:** who knows i blanked during the edgy teikou backstory

 **takao!:** anyway how are we gonna set them up?

 **ryouta:** subtle hinting?

 **Tetsuya:** did that work for you?

 **ryouta:** no...

 **Tetsuya:** aomine isn't as smart as you so of course it won't work for him

 **takao!:** truth

 **Tatsuya:** shut up you're dumb too

 **takao!:** ouch

 **Tatsuya:**  ask Midorima out and then we'll talk

 **takao!:** NO

 **takao!:** i'm still mad at him ): <

 **Tatsuya:** Jesus...

 **ryouta:** Akashicchi and I can double date with them!!

 **Tatsuya:** someone will  _die_

 **takao!:** hopefully aomine

 **Taiga:** Tetsuya and I can organise a 2v2 match with them?

 **Tatsuya:** good idea!!

 **Tatsuya:** I knew there was a reason that you're my favourite brother!

 **Taiga:** I'm...your  _onl_ _y_ brother...

 **Tatsuya:** yet another reason!

 **Taiga:** I am so done with you

 **takao!:** uh oh

 **Tatsuya:** betrayed by my own flesh and blood

 **Taiga:** ...

 **Taiga:** I'm not even going to say anything

 **Taiga:** I'll ask Tetsuya to arrange a match with aomine and Sakurai

 **Taiga:** you two have fun

 **takao!:** will do!

 **Tatsuya:** thank you Taiga!!

 **Taiga:** yeah yeah

* * *

5:30pm -  _GoM & Co™_

 **Taiga:** why did I just see Takao and Midorima together

 **Tatsuya:** OwO

 **Taiga:** blocked

 **Tatsuya:** T^T

 **Taiga:** reported

 **Tatsuya:** -.-

 **Taiga:** deleting your number

 **Tatsuya:** OKAY FINE

 **Taiga:** good boy

 **Tetsuya:** What.

 **Tatsuya:** wow Kuroko really out here revealing his praise kink to the gc

 **Tetsuya:** Sin.

 **Tatsuya:** only you sweatie xoxoxo

 **ryouta:** Tatsuya is the equivalent of if you gave a 10 year old access to the internet in 2007

 **Tatsuya:** I take pride in that accusation

 **Taiga:** you shouldn't

 **Tatsuya:** but I do

 **Taiga:** impossible

 **Tatsuya:** (;

 **Taiga:** ignoring him

 **Tatsuya:** rude

 **Taiga:** why are Takao and Midorima together?

 **Tatsuya:** teenage hormones and desperation

 **Taiga:** ...

 **Taiga:** are you okay?

 **Tatsuya:** no I am oh so very tired goodnight

5:42pm -  **Tatsuya** went offline

 **Taiga:** ...ok

 **ryouta:** Takao is a filthy liar

 **Tetsuya:** Agreed but why?

 **ryouta:** "I'm still mad at him" my ass

 **Taiga:** ABORT HE SAW ME AND BOLTED

 **Taiga:** MIDORIMA'S STANDING THERE LOOKING LIKE HE HAD A STROKE

 **ryouta:** BAHAHAHA

 **Taiga:** TAKAO RUNS SO FAST

 **ryouta:** goals

5:48pm -  **takao!** came online

 **takao!:** STOP TALKING ABOUT ME

 **ryouta:** explain why you were with Midorimacchi then

 **takao!:** I'd rather die

 **ryouta:** I guess it's time for me to tell everyone about the time you pantsed Midorimacchi then

 **takao!:** OKAY FINE ILL TALK

 **ryouta:** we're listening

 **Tetsuya:** Please, enlighten us.

 **takao!:** ...

 **takao!:** it starts after i left shin-chan's birthday party...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: akakise wont be canon until at least chapter 15 and midotaka won't be canon until after them!  
> the little voice in the back of my brain: make them both canon now or i'll eat you


	11. [hitting noises]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been reading a lot of dc stuff lately. no time for anime - japanese cartoons are for LOSERS
> 
> extremely short because i haven't updated in forever and i'm too stressed w/ school to write more...also to protect the environment

"Hey Akashicchi."

"Yes, Kise?"

"I have something I want to tell you."

* * *

5:50pm -  _GoM & Co™_

 **takao!:**  it starts after i left shin-chan's birthday party...

 **ryouta:** I'm too impatient to wait that long tldr

 **takao!:** impossible, the lot of you

 **takao!:** tldr shinchan found me after his 'party' and told me he wanted to stay friends until he could see if he could fall in love with me. i said i'd think about it, then told him id like to agree last night

 **Tatsuya:**  I sense an angsty sub-plot

 **takao!:** bite me????????

 **Tatsuya:** don't be gay

 **takao!:** don't be homophobic

 **Tatsuya:** LISTEN, BITCH

 **takao!:** don't bitch me, bitch

 **Tatsuya:** you did NOT just bitch me,  _bitch_

 **takao!:** BITCH

6:00pm - **T etsuya** banned  **Tatsuya** and  **takao!** from the server

 **Tetsuya:** Bitch.

 **ryouta:** Kurokocchi no

 **Tetsuya:** Kuroko yes.

 **ryouta:** well

 **ryouta:** all right then

 **Taiga:** I think it's finally time that I disown Tatsuya

 **ryouta:** can't disown him if you're not actually related

 **Taiga:** that just makes it easier

6:07pm -  **takao!** and  **Himuro** joined the server, invited by  **Seijuro**

 **Tetsuya:** Traitor.

 **Taiga:** ban him again

 **Himuro:**  [??????????](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/7a/35/d3/7a35d37499e54fffe1196b6a3d462f4d.jpg)

 **Taiga:**   _ban him again_

 **Himuro:** gonna throw hands with my brother

 **Taiga:** last I checked, you don't have one

 **Himuro:** GONNA THROW HANDS WITH A LITTLE BITCH

 **Taiga:** I beat aomine so I can definitely beat you

 **Himuro:** hush

 **Tetsuya:** No, do it.

 **Himuro:**   _HUSH_

 **ryouta:** I will pay to see this fight.

 **takao!:** i'd pay to participate

 **Seijuro:** Nobody's fighting anybody.

 **takao!:** i'll fight you

 **Seijuro:** No you won't.

 **takao!:** no i won't

 **Himuro:**  good boy

 **takao!:** i'm calling the police

 **Himuro:** gee thanks

 **takao!:** you're welcome boo xoxoxo

 **Himuro:** calling HR

 **takao!:** GEE THANKS

 **Tetsuya:** I get a headache every time you two interact.

 **takao!:** good

 **Himuro:** 'twas the goal my dude

 **Tetsuya:** My finger seems to be slipping faster and faster towards the ban button...

 **Himuro:** WE'LL BE GOOD

 **takao!:** i won't

 **takao!:** take me away from this hell chat

 **Tetsuya:** Understandable.

 **Tetsuya:** Have a nice day.

6:15pm -  **Tetsuya** banned  **takao!** from the server

* * *

"Yes?"

"Um...I..."

"Kise, are you okay?"

"I-  _I think you're really great_."

"Thank you Kise. I think you're great, too."

 _Crap_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haven't touched this fic in so long i forgot the texting styles and nicknames i set for them. anyway - might wrap this up after i tie up a few (FEW) loose ends...i really do have no interest in anime anymore (can't watch any without getting bored) and my knb interest is dwindling...probs not gonna write anything for a while, too. if i do, it'll probably be vld, and further down the track, some dc stuff. thank you so much for the ride so far! feel free to comment some things you'd like to see implemented before i end this fic :)


End file.
